IF IT HURTS...

Yesterday, I was reminded of the benefits of speaking one’s mind. Some kind of workplace transfer has been hanging over my head in the last three months. My sly self at his best has been able to wade it off consistently without stating my position to all concerned. So when it came up again and with a tone of definitiveness yesterday, I had to act up, confronted the parties involved and spoke out my aversion to being moved.


As I saw the response to my action, I wished I had been braver these past months. I have earned quite a rep with a few as being blunt lately. Or actually, I have become more forth-coming with expressing my stand on issues lately; so much that those who have interacted with me after a while of doing same have considered me combative!

I would not describe my childhood as a repressed one but I cultivated the habit of making excuses for others early. This rewarded me with living at peace with many. While life may not entirely be called a struggle, the fittest does survive. Opportunities have to be identified and taken with full grasp. Same can be said of expressing one’s discomfort. Silence will always be considered an agreement as long as disagreement is not expressed.

I am armed to see to the end of the issue at hand, but apparently, it would have been with fewer scars if I had spoken my mind earlier. How true the words “what you allow, continues”.

So if it hurts, blurt it out! You do not stand to loose anything (it hurts already after all).

GLOBAL FILTER
I have followed with keen interest the un-led public demonstrations against the government, first in Tunisia and now in Egypt. We are reminded of what becomes of an individual or society that is pushed to breaking point. Sadly, I do not see same happening to the country of my birth soon. We have always found ways to survive under a string of terrible leadership. Until we are pushed to the point where we are out of options, then shall we pick the placards, sing our songs and march the streets.

ANXIETY OF INFLUENCE

I have chosen a title and illustration used by Joel Stein of Time (c)magazine in one of his columns last year. His, readily came to mind as I reflected on my recent trip. I had travelled with my wife to attend a Christian child dedication ceremony for a friend’s newly born. It provided me the chance to personally rejoice with an old friend who had just become a parent for the first time; identifying with his high moment.


As is customary, it was also an opportunity to see who the “bundle of joy” looks like. The pictures from the e-mail showed a baby with phenotypical proximity to his mother. However, on the phone, it was said that everyone says the baby has the looks of the father. I had joked to my friend that I could bet the only semblance the baby would have with him was his gender!

I decided very early (o yeah!) in my marriage that my wife and I will not be one of those couples who engage in “other couples’ gossip “; spending their own quality time together talking about what other couples do that they do. However, I have not been able to stay away from those bragging conversations about whose dominant gene will be transmitted to our progeny. The pride of my envisaged dominance has been over bearing save for only two physical concessions: that the generation after us would neither take my height nor my hair line.

A similar couple war based on who has got greater genes is what Joel Stein narrates in the article of reference. It’s amazing to think that one’s superiority is drawn from how much an offspring inherits from one’s gene pool. Probably this is from the part of our species that wants to live on for ever. What a view on life.

Postscript.
You can read the Joel Stein's article on the following link:  http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1973298,00.html

FINDING INSPIRATION IN THE NEW YEAR

Today is the 12th day of the New Year and of course a week after the traditional 12th night when all the decorations are removed. I have been so busy at work that the days of this New Year have run rather fast. This is despite the fact that this season of the year comes with longer days. Need less; I would rather have these days dragged along. Life just seems too fast these days.


The past 12 days and a couple before them have been filled with thoughts bordering on finding inspiration for the year. As it is, my life is more expanded than it has ever been and some things are better experienced. I have never been at a loss in finding direction for my life, this time though, I have found myself hesitant about leaving certain comfort zones. I know that whatever the final drift I take, I am going to be pursuing a life of happiness and desires-attained.

I learnt a long time ago not to enslave myself to my goals at the expense of enjoying the gift that life is. This will play out in my life again this year; enjoying the hunt as much as the kill. It’s going to be an exciting year no doubt. I am simply pensive with the details of the deliberateness of life. Yes, for after all, life is what one makes of it.

To all of my readers
Happy New Year! An old friend got in touch with me during my holidays last year. While we did catch-up, he mentioned that he was an avid follower of my blog (HEYMEYVILLE). To this I replied that he ought to have made comments on the posts that caught his particular fancy. As it is traditional to have resolutions at the beginning of a New Year, I hope one of yours would be to write comments “ON” Heymeyville. This feedback is essentially a part of what makes a blog. I would be looking forward to reading from you this year and who knows, we can make a community of it.

NUTMEG, BROWNY, CAKE PANS AND ETC

The last two years I have spent Christmas day at work, alone and away from old friends and family. So as the day drew nigh this year I was ambivalent. My wife and I had picked up three musical CDs some two weeks ago, one good old BoneyM and two other contemporary Christmas carols. As it were I needed some music to remind me of the coming yuletide.


So when we set out for Christmas shopping on the 23rd, I slotted the BoneyM into the Car stereo and hummed all the way. The shopping was uneventful until we got to the aisle for “Cake things”. Picking the flour, sugar, butter, eggs and milk was straightforward. But a guy like me gets really awed when it comes to making choices about those baking additives. As I pushed the trolley behind my wife, the search for such things like nutmeg, browny was exhausting and made me wander the routine such searches will be in the future.

Back at home that evening, not until I started chopping the turkey that I really felt Christmas was here. It is going to be a unique one...and I will not be working!

Indeed today has been special. It’s been the first of what will be many Christmas with my own family. This year, we choose outdoor and had a fun-filled picnic with our friends. I celebrate the birth of the Lord with a sense of gratitude.

And to all my readers: merry Christmas.

WHILE THE WORLD WAS BUSY...

While the world was busy with itself, I got myself married!

Yes, so it was that on the 27th day of November, 2010 I got married to my long-time belle. However the weeks prior to this date were laden with so much activity I almost broke down.Suddenly it appeared, my work place became very busy; the assignments from my masters programme were rather abstract (ethical theories, research appraisals e.g.); I had end of year's exams to write the weekend before my annual leave starts, the scope of which was totally different from the the year's module work. Oh, I also had a car crash, bad enough to condemn my car to the mechanics/panel beaters garage for over one month! Added to these was the mental stretch of preparing for a wedding as well as containing the excitement of seeing my family and old friends after two and a half years away from them.

It was in the midst of the above that I was invited to be a pioneer contibutor to V Jug blog (one that could even fetch me some money!). After going through the operational dynamics, I tried making my first post under my "freestyle" section. I titled it "A bite more than I could chew" hoping I would write out a summary of my many engagements at the moment. However, as with its title, I never got to finish the article. It was around the same time that the now famous Chilean miners, trapped underground for those number of days were rescued. I thought to make a post on Heymeyville, saluting the triumph of humanity. After two sentences, I was either distracted or could not concretize my thoughts to continue the flow of words. I never completed the discourse.

Finally on November 15, my annual leave started. It was going to be my first holiday since January 2007 and I was more than excited. I travelled that morning and by the evening of the day I was literally in another world. The venue, suggested by my cousin at the bank was expensive but worth it. Firstly, we spent some time at the bar and then settled for one of those candle-lit tables by the buffet table, a few yards away from the live band. We talked, laughed, ate and during the dessert an exuberant me gazed into her eyes, spoke the formal words and slipped the diamond studded  gold ring into her right middle finger.I got back to my Sister's later that night and my sister and I talked till 4am!

The following two weeks were frenetic with the wedding preparation  in its definitive form. My penchant for certain details did me little favours but we got around most of them. As much as I kept my propriety during the meaningful moments, I had made up my mind from as long as I could remember that I was going to enjoy getting married. I had my fun in the whole time; like stopping the cab driver in the middle of the night because I saw "fried yam" by the road side or rushing in to the "Calabar Kitchen some 2 hours before leaving for the International Airport!

Now I am back to work. It’s been an eventful holiday, through 5 hotels, one cancelled flight, a family reunion, a wedding and the ensuing honeymoon. My life has just changed gears.