As a teen, I read a number of those motivational/self-help books. They made a lot of imprints on my young mind as I strove to discover myself and find my own peace. The impressions included among other things the value of seeing the glass half full, making the most of those time wasters that we don’t have control over and “seeing romance in common place”. The latter informed my love for nature and small little things. Instead of drinking my glass of water, I could be drawn to the impeccable curvature of the glass rim; the purity of water itself or my thought could be projected to the glitter of splashing water, the wave front rippling from a pebble dropped into water, the pattering sound of rainfall on lush vegetation. It made life both beautiful and deep.
Recently, I saw a little boy playing by the trough of a fountain. He appeared so absorbed, muttering to himself and making gestures as if he was following the movement of something in the water. I came closer and asked if there was a fish in the pool of water. As I chatted with the boy, my childhood practically rolled out before me. I am tempted to relive the years of my innocence!
As a child, I loved the sight of fish in water; the sight of swallows or wild pigeons making their nests and of course, the twinkle of Christmas lights. This was before my admiration for other school pupils who wore glasses (I thought they were very brilliant); eagerness at seeing the medal award ceremony in a major sport event; my grip for all fine arts and encyclopaedias or handling a burette. I remember the dimensions of my thoughts as I looked again and again at the pages of my first book of world atlas. As the male hormone was let down, there came an “unfounded” rebellious character especially in church settings. My followership of football replaced wrestling as well. The rebelliousness was unfounded because it was just a protest against being stereotyped as a good boy. My inner self always felt betrayed by my rebellious outbursts. Almost sadly, I am still very agreeable to authority.
The above is by no means an exhaustive list of my childhood. I grew up into the sort of fellow who still has a penchant for all that is mentally stimulating, including all the gizmo of this techno-age. We are truly older versions of childhood
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
I HAD A DREAM
The other day, I had a mid night dream, woke up and thought its theme would make a good blog post. I slept back afterwards. By the time I would wake up in the morning, I could only remember I had an interesting dream but completely forgot the content. That’s me.
I am told that some people have the gift to have dreams with real life significance; like if they dreamt someone died, something sinister will occur to the object of their dreams in the least. I find this very out of my reach. At times like this, I really wish my father also bought me a biblical coat of many colours; that I do not only identify the sun in my dream to be my “old man”, folks would really come around I would tell them that the dream they had last night infers they will be re-instated in yesterday’s glory. On the other hand, I will also be a breaker of bad news.
Certainly, being the bearer of bad news would be very disheartening and I am glad I have been saved from the anxiety of knowing some thing untoward is going to happen. I dream almost every night, but it is mostly free-style with practically no relevance in reality. One moment, I am admiring a guard of honour, the next I am whistling the tune of a song that I know nothing of. Sometimes, the theme of my dreams are at par with circumstances from the consciousness overwhelming my momentous thoughts, other time times they are just way out of sync with everything I am about. However, they are still always short, trivial, vain, shallow, un-real and sometimes out rightly ridiculous. This is both intriguing and fascinating to me.
It seems to me that this is another way in which life is funny. Most days, I go to bed tired. When I am not fatigued, I keep wake into a late night. I am told I am a “shallow sleeper” (wherever that came from?). I could answer a phone call, switch off the bedside CD player, acknowledge someone‘s presence in the room during my sleep and still wake up by morning feeling very well rested. My dreams float in and out of these activities so that by sunrise, I simple wake up knowing I had a few dreams the previous night that I can barely relate with. I feel teased at the thought of this. The title of this post may as well be “the pranks from my sleep”. It’s my lot, I guess.
I am told that some people have the gift to have dreams with real life significance; like if they dreamt someone died, something sinister will occur to the object of their dreams in the least. I find this very out of my reach. At times like this, I really wish my father also bought me a biblical coat of many colours; that I do not only identify the sun in my dream to be my “old man”, folks would really come around I would tell them that the dream they had last night infers they will be re-instated in yesterday’s glory. On the other hand, I will also be a breaker of bad news.
Certainly, being the bearer of bad news would be very disheartening and I am glad I have been saved from the anxiety of knowing some thing untoward is going to happen. I dream almost every night, but it is mostly free-style with practically no relevance in reality. One moment, I am admiring a guard of honour, the next I am whistling the tune of a song that I know nothing of. Sometimes, the theme of my dreams are at par with circumstances from the consciousness overwhelming my momentous thoughts, other time times they are just way out of sync with everything I am about. However, they are still always short, trivial, vain, shallow, un-real and sometimes out rightly ridiculous. This is both intriguing and fascinating to me.
It seems to me that this is another way in which life is funny. Most days, I go to bed tired. When I am not fatigued, I keep wake into a late night. I am told I am a “shallow sleeper” (wherever that came from?). I could answer a phone call, switch off the bedside CD player, acknowledge someone‘s presence in the room during my sleep and still wake up by morning feeling very well rested. My dreams float in and out of these activities so that by sunrise, I simple wake up knowing I had a few dreams the previous night that I can barely relate with. I feel teased at the thought of this. The title of this post may as well be “the pranks from my sleep”. It’s my lot, I guess.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
TALKING TO MYSELF 2
I have not written in less than a month and it feels like alot more than that. The demands of life have taken it fair share of my time and thoughts, so much that I have kept up with only the basic and essential.
Our time is linked with our thoughts . The flip side of the foregoing is also true. So when one’s time is assaulted by what consists of living, thoughts are unsettled. While one could express the thoughts in the flurry of momemtous thinking, writing under calm can be very entralling. I have found myself not only longing for these thrilling moments but also wishing to have them very often. Wishing thinking!
I have written before of seeing dreams come true, for me and those around me; dreams that were born out of wishes. Yes, wishes that were well guided and drawn from a depth towards a meaningful life. Wishes are an expression of potential, that more than is currently on display.
Our potential is not only what we can become but who we trully are.
Our time is linked with our thoughts . The flip side of the foregoing is also true. So when one’s time is assaulted by what consists of living, thoughts are unsettled. While one could express the thoughts in the flurry of momemtous thinking, writing under calm can be very entralling. I have found myself not only longing for these thrilling moments but also wishing to have them very often. Wishing thinking!
I have written before of seeing dreams come true, for me and those around me; dreams that were born out of wishes. Yes, wishes that were well guided and drawn from a depth towards a meaningful life. Wishes are an expression of potential, that more than is currently on display.
Our potential is not only what we can become but who we trully are.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
A JOLLY WANNABE SPECIE
Much of the talk in the circle I found myself yesterday was on the persons of the bride and the groom: William’s unspoken carriage that translates into the fact he understands the gravity of his overall responsibility; Kate’s display as an individual at peace with herself. We are reminded to know who we really are, to appreciate our opportunities and extol the sense of responsibility that come with them, to enjoy being ourselves and to lead our lives. These virtues, almost infectious, are readily identifiable by others and go a long way in the manner we are responded to.
Back to the drift of mankind towards the giggly, what happened to all the British apathy to royalty after Princess Diana’s death? Yesterday, I saw a people known for public self control let loose in an unprecedented manner. May be it’s that thing in us wanting to identify with something good and jolly. As far as I was, on April 29, 2011, I surely ‘pitched my tent’ with the popular and cheerful.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
A YEAR, AMBITIONS AND LIFE AS USUAL
It has been a year to the day since I relocated and essentially changed my employer. I am at home at the end a tiring day and I reflectively look at my life in the last year. I think I settled to my new environment and work place pretty fast. This was with a sense of more definiteness in my actions than I have ever really had. Life was a new challenge for me then, but I was older and more wisely poised.
Most of the big decisions in the last year have been much schemed from the past. It was as if I was acting out my own script really. Very little has stunned me and my over all outlook has a bit of recluse now. So everyone who considers my demeanor distant lately must now also know that it’s not borne out of hard feelings. And I am certainly not in the middle having that crisis!
As I look at the world today, I see competition, more competition among my peers and a chase for even greater vanity. People seem to be in a hurry to a destination just to be able to hold up their pride of accomplishment. These aside, I have also seen dreams come true and observed my internal alarms reset towards the path to a new equilibrium.
Life is a continuous after all. That fellow was right when he said human wants are insatiable. Someone has also said life is not contained in accomplishments but in the ideas and ideals we live by. How true.
Most of the big decisions in the last year have been much schemed from the past. It was as if I was acting out my own script really. Very little has stunned me and my over all outlook has a bit of recluse now. So everyone who considers my demeanor distant lately must now also know that it’s not borne out of hard feelings. And I am certainly not in the middle having that crisis!
As I look at the world today, I see competition, more competition among my peers and a chase for even greater vanity. People seem to be in a hurry to a destination just to be able to hold up their pride of accomplishment. These aside, I have also seen dreams come true and observed my internal alarms reset towards the path to a new equilibrium.
Life is a continuous after all. That fellow was right when he said human wants are insatiable. Someone has also said life is not contained in accomplishments but in the ideas and ideals we live by. How true.
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