It's funny after wanting so much change, it comes and suddenly we are in a deluge of mixed feelings. For someone like me right now, it's been drawn from the extensive paper-work that goes with public service (Oh, I wanted to know all the details I could understand so that I maximize my position), meeting new collleagues (I repeat every name and say I'd get to know each of them as time goes by ), familiarising myself with the environment and getting orientated in my job description.On the latter, I have found myself a bit apprehensive as to whether I'd get it right with the details peculiar to the new environment; more so that my previous job was less encompassing.
In between all of these personal stuff, my thoughts are drawn into the other responsibilities I have to assume because of a higher pay-grade, that ever increasing thing that is called age, short-/long-term commitments I have hitherto made and the overall drift towards my greater life goals. Very interesting.
For each of these flirting concerns, I have been able to come up with answers that gave me peace; be it rationalizing the thoughts or flipping through a basic life principle I always had. Also, I have found the friendliness and the good PR of people around me very encouraging.
What I am about is called settling in and I should not wish to skip it. Going through the processes of life and negotiating them well makes for immense stability and confidence in the future. I am on it.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
5 RANDOM THINGS
After 15 months and 4 days, I am taking a a bow from my present job and relocating to another country. My departure has not been the relaxed one I had hoped for, as I had to work up to the night before my trip. The reason being that no one is available to take my place on the on job yet. As physically and mentally drained as I am now, I still have (howbeit a quiet) enthusiasm about the new job, the new life and all the other things that I am planning to come with it.
These past weeks, it finally dawned on me that my relocation is for real. I have been much pensive and found myself with these 5 random conclusions about life.
1. Life is made up of everyday's small things; bits that make up the whole. As we strive in the small things, we achieve the whole, sometimes without realizing it. But when we do finally arrive, we are thrilled.
2. The people/things that are really meaningful in our lives are very few. A lot out there is just background noise. It is not snobbish to be choosy. I went through my phone the other day and there were alot of contacts I could really have gotten by without.
3. It is gainful to have the bigger goals in view always. Distractions from our goals come in snippets.
4. Whatever happens to us, we should try to find the fun of life and savour them. Happiness is a perspective. What is there going through life without happiness?
5. Time takes care of all worries and concerns. In the course of life, our desires are modified.
These past weeks, it finally dawned on me that my relocation is for real. I have been much pensive and found myself with these 5 random conclusions about life.
1. Life is made up of everyday's small things; bits that make up the whole. As we strive in the small things, we achieve the whole, sometimes without realizing it. But when we do finally arrive, we are thrilled.
2. The people/things that are really meaningful in our lives are very few. A lot out there is just background noise. It is not snobbish to be choosy. I went through my phone the other day and there were alot of contacts I could really have gotten by without.
3. It is gainful to have the bigger goals in view always. Distractions from our goals come in snippets.
4. Whatever happens to us, we should try to find the fun of life and savour them. Happiness is a perspective. What is there going through life without happiness?
5. Time takes care of all worries and concerns. In the course of life, our desires are modified.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
WITHOUT A FINGER
(Originally written on my Notes page on Facebook, March 16th, 2009).
The taxi stopped for her. She was most likely in her late twenties, held a crutch on one hand and bore all things girlish on the other. Her crutch came in first, then she slid into the seat beside me, leaving the crutch to lean on me, right across my face. Before I could let out a whiff, she was already engrossed in a conversation with the cab driver.
“Sorry, could this be yours?” I said with a smirk on my face, my voice a little lowered. My wry sense of humor did the trick as she suddenly looked towards me giggling; “Aw, sorry, I almost forgot about my ‘third leg’” came her innocent reply. Later, I learnt that she had been using her “third leg” from when she was 4 years old following an “accident”. I also deduced from our engaging verbal congress that her attitude and style of expression was that of someone content with life in spite of her obvious inconvenience. It left an impression on me. Could I ever get used to a personal nuisance, especially when it inconveniences others? How would life be for me if I have to complement myself with anything artificial, even if it's a well-fitted denture?
Earlier that morning, I had slammed the car door on my right index finger while alighting from the cab I took to work. If the travails of a woman in childbirth was rated 10, I was somewhere around 9 for the 30 mins that ensued. Bearing in mind that the thumb and the index finger are said to be the most important fingers, here are a few things about me: I am right-handed (they say it’s because the left side of my brain is dominant); my job is graded as highly skilled labour; I have to examine people and perform many a procedure using my hands; I have to type all my notes into a computer at work; now and then give a hand-written script or a referral.
Beyond the professional use of my right hand, the turnover in the personal use of my hand is far exceeding; all of it done almost unconsciously. At work that morning, I attempted to maximize the use of my left hand; it was clumsy, slow, inconvenient and almost impossible for some of my routines. (Well,I did enjoy the mischief of my illegible prescriptions!).
Within a few days, my finger felt better and did return to its pre-injury wellness.
All these happened about a year ago, but I remember that the days following this incident, I became more aware of my many unconscious routines and my sense of “physical completeness” was very re-assuring. My heart has not ceased to be full of gratitude.
If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change - Buddha
The taxi stopped for her. She was most likely in her late twenties, held a crutch on one hand and bore all things girlish on the other. Her crutch came in first, then she slid into the seat beside me, leaving the crutch to lean on me, right across my face. Before I could let out a whiff, she was already engrossed in a conversation with the cab driver.
“Sorry, could this be yours?” I said with a smirk on my face, my voice a little lowered. My wry sense of humor did the trick as she suddenly looked towards me giggling; “Aw, sorry, I almost forgot about my ‘third leg’” came her innocent reply. Later, I learnt that she had been using her “third leg” from when she was 4 years old following an “accident”. I also deduced from our engaging verbal congress that her attitude and style of expression was that of someone content with life in spite of her obvious inconvenience. It left an impression on me. Could I ever get used to a personal nuisance, especially when it inconveniences others? How would life be for me if I have to complement myself with anything artificial, even if it's a well-fitted denture?
Earlier that morning, I had slammed the car door on my right index finger while alighting from the cab I took to work. If the travails of a woman in childbirth was rated 10, I was somewhere around 9 for the 30 mins that ensued. Bearing in mind that the thumb and the index finger are said to be the most important fingers, here are a few things about me: I am right-handed (they say it’s because the left side of my brain is dominant); my job is graded as highly skilled labour; I have to examine people and perform many a procedure using my hands; I have to type all my notes into a computer at work; now and then give a hand-written script or a referral.
Beyond the professional use of my right hand, the turnover in the personal use of my hand is far exceeding; all of it done almost unconsciously. At work that morning, I attempted to maximize the use of my left hand; it was clumsy, slow, inconvenient and almost impossible for some of my routines. (Well,I did enjoy the mischief of my illegible prescriptions!).
Within a few days, my finger felt better and did return to its pre-injury wellness.
All these happened about a year ago, but I remember that the days following this incident, I became more aware of my many unconscious routines and my sense of “physical completeness” was very re-assuring. My heart has not ceased to be full of gratitude.
If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change - Buddha
Friday, April 2, 2010
OH, IT'S GOOD FRIDAY!
How time flies and one's childhood becomes such a distant memory. I came to the foregoing reflection in the course of a conversation with someone today. Said she, "I'd be going to church this evening" and I went, " Oh, it's Good Friday! Do people still go to church on Good Fridays?".
Forgive my seemingly flippant unreligious present -no thanks to the demands of my undergraduate years and the duti-ness of the profession it led into. But the above conversation drew me to remember how Easter was those years ago when I was a little child (I am still much a child, maybe not a little one!). The holiday was looked forward to and no one ever wanted to miss the crucifixion movie that the TV stations always had a way of showing in the afternoon of Good Fridays. And there was usually some church service on Friday evenings and I remember some church denominations have a Galilee-like event on Easter Monday( not sure now if it is also called Good Monday!...Why not?).
That was then. I had gone to the university years after and if there was any (personal) holiday for me during the Easter,I'd probably be on the road on Good Friday and be on the road again on Easter Monday. The childhold Easter routine got even more disrupted when I started a career more years after. And as my innocent remarks today confirm, my life has practically become out of sync with the Easter activities of my childhood. I do have a hope though and it's when I become a parent and would have to help create a similitude for my wards. But then life may have changed signicantly in the details of such celebrations. We shall see about that.
As for now,I would say I still believe in what Easter stands for. It's just that I am not active in its celebration as the rest of the world does, and much less the way I did as a child.
Happy Easter to all my readers.
Forgive my seemingly flippant unreligious present -no thanks to the demands of my undergraduate years and the duti-ness of the profession it led into. But the above conversation drew me to remember how Easter was those years ago when I was a little child (I am still much a child, maybe not a little one!). The holiday was looked forward to and no one ever wanted to miss the crucifixion movie that the TV stations always had a way of showing in the afternoon of Good Fridays. And there was usually some church service on Friday evenings and I remember some church denominations have a Galilee-like event on Easter Monday( not sure now if it is also called Good Monday!...Why not?).
That was then. I had gone to the university years after and if there was any (personal) holiday for me during the Easter,I'd probably be on the road on Good Friday and be on the road again on Easter Monday. The childhold Easter routine got even more disrupted when I started a career more years after. And as my innocent remarks today confirm, my life has practically become out of sync with the Easter activities of my childhood. I do have a hope though and it's when I become a parent and would have to help create a similitude for my wards. But then life may have changed signicantly in the details of such celebrations. We shall see about that.
As for now,I would say I still believe in what Easter stands for. It's just that I am not active in its celebration as the rest of the world does, and much less the way I did as a child.
Happy Easter to all my readers.
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